Fasha & tandas

Hihi... I purposely put Fasha in the title hoping that it would attract some Fasha's fanatics out there to read my blog. The truth is I'm not writing anything on Fasha today. Oh come on... haven't you read enough on Fasha lately? She's everywhere in the tabloids and cheap trashy magz. Sorry dear... I don't feel like thrashing Fasha today. 

And this brings us to the 2nd part of the blog which is on tandas. Specifically the tandas at my workplace. Pernah x masa korang tgh rushing nak buang air besar kat tandas duduk, dah gelabah2 bukak sluar, sekali masa nak landing your butt on the toilet seat, baru terperasan kat toilet seat tu ada cecair kuning tinggalan jibraun yg guna tandas sebelum tuh? And it just so happened that the tandas u were in, dah kehabisan tisu? Urghhh.... this happened to me so many times and every time it happenned I had to curse a little (no... a lot actually... but I just couldn't say the nasty words out loud fearing that my colleague would hear me and think that I'm a lunatic). Lepas habis menyumpah seranah tuh, terpaksa guna air paip untuk sembur2 sket the yellow fluid. Geram pulak rasa... frankly, I don't care what technique you use to pee... nak berdiri ke, nak duduk ke, even nak baring sekali pon... buat laa... yang penting aim la btol2 ke mangkuk tandas tuh. Bukannya aim merata sampai ke toilet seat dan ke lantai. Pastuh tak reti2 nak basuh hasil tinggalan korang. Lagi satu, kalau dah tau your aim isn't that good, angkat la dulu seat cover tuh sebelom peeing. Oh... is that too difficult? Or do we need to put a user manual on how to use the toilet?

Congratulations! Welcome to the toilet!

You are in toilet PECTRL cubicle 3 version 2.0

Please lift the toilet seat cover if you want to pee while standing. For those who prefer to sit, gently put your butt on the toilet seat and adjust your position accordingly. And yes.... you need to take off your pants first. 

For peeing while standing, look for the hole with water in the toilet bowl. Aim carefully for that hole and start peeing. If you are not able to aim correctly at the hole, your p***s is probably too short. Please try peeing while sitting next time you moron!

For peeing while sitting, you do not need further instruction. Do your business, flush the toilet and leave. If you still think you need some guidance, then you are probably not smart enough to use this toilet facility at this workplace. Go home and do your business there... idiot!

Thank you for using this toilet facility. If you aren't sure whether you've flushed or not, by all means just flush again. The company is paying for the water. Feel free to waste it. For those who forget to flush, a CCTV will record your face and match it with your worker ID. (A notice will be sent to HR so that your salary can be deducted accordingly for bringing misery to other toilet users).

Have a good day and come again.

Hmm... that will definitely help a lot. U think so?